Mid '97 Poems

THE V

8/5/97

The V flew away

glistening

The ripe orange afterglow

of a satisfying sunset

The day at ebb

the rushing water

rhythmically thrumming

eversong drums

My heart drumming in your arms

The V wing flaps on distant cymbal

faint

fading

away

DRIPPING PEACH

8/5/97

The deep pain

woke me

startled

the nine of swordslike bad dream

I just opened up

wide

Spread my heart on your plate

you looked at it

fondled it

tasted it

yet, you can’t

make up your mind when

your mind has

nothing

to do with it

It’s your heart

I want

caressing

it’s smooth velvety contours

touching

it to me

melting

into one

heart

yet you hold it back

dangling longingly

as if to try and protect

what you cannot

It’s not what we’re here for

like a ripe fruit

it must be

consumed

while it’s fresh

not young and sour

or wrinkled and dried                         

    Won’t you let us

taste their flavor

ripe juices running down

our reveling chins

like a child eating ripe peaches

it’s sticky

but we don’t care.

     VOID FILLING

8/10/97

I’m through filling the void

It’s been full all along

with me

all alone

like a river of dreams

the circle of water surrounds me

feeds itself

on itself

infinitely

My dream river is muddy

rushing into new life

after the downpour

it’s red clay siltiness

of the earth and blood

adama-essence

swirling faster

with white froth

washing into my

innermost

flushing, cleansing

that deep black gunk caked on

dislodged chunks burbling along

the pink muck

inviting

immersion - dissolution

I dive in

head first

without a pause

no preparation

impulse action

my clothing impregnated

permanently

with/in

the red clay/blood waters

     leaving their mark

my blood mark

on my own self

I pause in the eddy

to dry off

in the baking sun

refreshed

whole, vital

     LOAN RANGER

8/10/97

Alone

borrowing

on account

of I’m by myself

selflessly searching for love

where

I can’t find it

seeking out the power current

but I’m only window shopping

till I find

what

I want

rarefied

in this thin air of impatience

and low density

    BERRY SEARCH

8/10/97

She is

on her quest

searching for the perfect berry

not sour

or dried up

but juicy and squishy

sweet and tart

none of them seem right

until the one

presents itself in the river

upstream

an inch above the water line

the water gets deeper

she climbs out

suddenly not hungry any more

when it requires total immersion

DON’T BESPEAK

UNLESS BESPOKEN TOO

8/10/97

Do I miss the illusion

or was it really happening

once?

In each others arms

you bespoke your love

prayerfully

spending

our days together whenever possible

soulfully

gazing locked together

eyes closed

one

I opened my eyes

and saw

how you really felt

had you changed

or was I gazing

blindly

at the cinema on my

eyelids

convinced this romantic movie

was reality?

I’ll never know because you

bespeak me

know more 

SILVERBIRD

8/10/97

Silverbird

flying fishlike

wriggling branch to branch

spin twirling flower to flower

drinking deeply of the nectar

you swirl out of sight.

SILVERBIRD (HAIKU VERSION)

Silver

wriggling spin twirling

flower to flower

drink deep the nectar.

LEAF BONES

8/31/97

Lacework, golden

lying peacefully

baked by the sun eternally.

SUNFLOWER

8/31/97

Darkness within

shine canary gold flames.

Why always dark within light?

LUST

8/11/97

Lust

or

is it love?

Bone pounding grind

or sweet slipperiness?

Looking expectantly

at who and where

it will be next

in what way

it’s always the same dance

leading to similar endings

the fascination with similar endings

we’re social yet

we’re  strangers

never really knowing one another

yet one with the same hunger

burning in our bellies

Lust for love

Lust for life.

ANT

8/31/97

Tickling at the edge

of my awareness

I find you creeping.

Flick!

CHRONIC HEART PAIN

8/31/97

When your foot doesn’t hurt

you don’t feel the pain.

of the sprain.

When your heart doesn’t hurt

you don’t feel the pain

of the love lost.

Appreciation

what you don’t have feels good

when you don’t have it.

I forget

and look again until we

experience it again

I remember that

old familiar pain

my tongue on the sore tooth

as I bite on the bad side

again

I know it will be healed

some day

but that toothache ...

I bit into

a bad piece of fruit

again,

Now I’ve got to drill that cavity

Then I’ll fill the void

With something more natural

this time.

Burning Bush

October 9, 1997

Your scent in my head

your heart face radiantly

beams a light on

my dreamy eyelids

intoxicated by the hyperventilation

of my heart

I swoon at that deep breath

I haven’t been taking

my knees quivering to the silent siren song

of the flesh

I long to plunge into your flames

renewed

in our mutual burning bush

oneness

but I pause

not out of fear

but deliberation

getting out of impulse ridden

penis rule

I step back to

thoroughly inhale your

being

sensually awaiting our

gradual ascent

so that we can fly together

sustained journey

of the soul

wherever it may take us.

RACIAL MEMORY

October 10, 1997

I close my eyes

as my voice fills

soul with song

I’m singing chanting drumming

I know the words and music

reading them from my soul

I’m in a timeless place

where all souls are connected

hundreds of years ago in a shtetl

I’m singing

the same hunger

sating my tingling lips with song

the aroma of

break-fast

awaiting

down the mud-strewn damp village road

hearthwarm glowing inside me

I’m singing

the sinuous rhythms

swaying my hips

the drums driving

my thirsting hungering body

to faster movement

higher prayer

cutting loose

all the old

clinging sin-grime

now the wine is about to touch

my lips

after a full

night and day

of prayer and focus

I’m singing

outside in the heat

dry

oppressive

the cooler shade of the tent

unreachable

I know I’ll survive

through the heat

turning to cool breeze

by the breath of letting go

the holy ruach

gently blowing

through my soul

I’m singing

after forty days of wait

looking up

longing to

the fiery thunderous mountain

rejoicing

the gift to come

is, was, will always be with me

I give thanks for all time

I was here

everywhere

will be there

forever for all time.

CATHEDRAL ROCK

11/2/97

Shrugging giant red shoulders

you wink

gaptooth smile in a wide grin

I feel

safely wrapped

as the burbling foamy green red clear waters

swirl around

lurping joyously

a golden leaf

swim spins

beneath

lit by the ray

as a spotlight

dancing twirling spinning

it approaches

suddenly bereft of movement and light

it floats once again

dancing around me

as the spotlight

turns on once more

 SUN RAY

11/2/97

Too bright

to look at directly

your white hot reflection

beams

into me

from the glasslike waters

flickering

I look away in fear

it might burn me

POPPY LOUIS

11/2/97

I saw you again the other day

the miracle of video and film

preserving your almost alive

image

little me ... sitting on your lap

watching you peel an apple for me

still amazed at the spiral  skin

you produced

regularly for me

totally connected skins without a break

I still enjoy those action movies

mostly guns and big explosions now

not like the swords and gallantry

we watched those long Sundays ago

stealing out of the house

just the two of us

I’m sitting next to you

we’re painting by numbers

you’re with Moses and Jeremiah

I’ve got water and a book

you’re in between the lines

I’m all over the place

You could play anything I could sing

I could sing anything you could play

Yightle deetle deetle di yeetle dightle dightle di

You sang niggunim to me

some ancient European muses

tweaking my soul through you

No awareness in me

that the haunting melodies

would return with my Jewishness

full circle later in life

just one line and you were playing piano with both hands

you couldn’t read or write words

the music was written in your soul

all of it.

RED MOSQUITO

11/2/97

Sometimes I wish

they were the bad guys

and we were back in WWI

for just a few moments

I sit in meditation

one minute of reverie

angrily interrupted by the low buzz

of a giant

red mosquito

buzzing voraciously

still swollen from

sucking the lands’ blood

I put on my tin helmet

and fire up the ol’ ack ack gun

shooting it down

in a flaming ruin

I return to my peaceful solitude

Ommm

MAPLE SYRUP

11/21/97

I feel you ringing

at my open heart

I answer to your welcome

swimming

in the maple syrup of your voice

its thickness

soothing

comforting

caressing

enveloping me

in your embrace

I lose myself

inhaling your essence

fully

longing for more

I have to hang up

waiting till you’re in my arms

again for the first time

while I await you with the faint aftertaste

of maple syrup

still

on my tongue

Florida Moment

12/19/97

Fresh live green

filling in the muck

manicured meticulously

its perfection marred by the occasional

trash

ornamenting its marketability

I race along at top speed

stopped

by the many gates

interviewed

by a multitude of smiling dull faced guards

granting admission to

the sanctum sanctorum

only I’m confused....

they all look the same...

a graduation from Brooklyn PS’s

from identical commuters on the LIRR

from retirement in the suburbs

from golf and shopping on the Gisland

to terraforming the swamps

into shopping centers and golf courses

protected by walls and gates

even the most incompetent can pass through

filling the meaning less

lives

with styrofoam peanuts of the soul

awaiting a memoryless end

full of tubes and desperation

actively inactive.

Popie Sidney

12/19/97

Sitting on your lap

a long time ago

hugging and kissing you on demand

your payment to me in occasional dollar bills

and even more occasional love

feeling your sandpapery morning face

the house smelling faintly of mildew

equally unkempt

the yearly pilgrimages to the “Lox-Bagel”

redolent of sour pickles

your cardinal scent

your essence

sour, demanding, unhappy...

those tasty corned beef sandwiches

in between working your cash register

on my “Florida vacation”

A taste

was all you would ever

give me

it was always unjustly unequal

you took it away

as you were giving it

your love

those dollar bills

you took

from Roxane

after she walked away

leaving them trustingly on the table

my dad and uncle ate their insides

seeking that ephemeral

love

you would only occasionally give

like the recipe to your mayonnaise

at Spareway Pickles

we could taste it but never know it.

Then my dad died

you swiftly took it all way

while we grieved

without you

snubbing us at our neediest time

spurning even the slightest interest

in your own blood...your namesakes

sacrificing us at your altar

without any intention

just because you were done with us

your obligation

brought to a close.