Internet Hell

By Harlan Sparer, D.C.

325 Inspirational Drive

Sedona, AZ 86336

928-282-2824

It’s five o’clock in the morning; the dawn pinks the sky gently in the night.  Just on the edge of discernment, we see a man playing a computer game, visibly upset.  He smacks the screen, which has an image of a roller coaster running over and over.  Roll credits.  He finally closes the program and dials up on the Internet, no other light but the screen in the twidawn, the screeing sound of a connection present.  In a series of clicks, he is on findyourmate.com, a dating service.  He sees a picture of a beautiful woman and clicks on the note with her phone number.

He disconnects and rotates the swirling seat to his phone and calls her up.

Matt: Hi Alice, I just got your message.  I’m glad I didn’t wake you.  Would you like to have breakfast together?  Great! See you in an hour. 

He exits the house properly primped and casually humming.  He enters his car.  He’s seated behind a cup of coffee at a diner.  She enters, radiantly beautiful.  They warmly embrace as he stands to greet her.

Matt:  You look just like your picture.

Alice:  You, too.  You’re gorgeous.

Matt:  I’ve been doing this for too long.  It’s a pleasure to see you honestly portray yourself.

Alice: You wouldn’t believe some of the liars I had to deal with.

Matt:   I had one who touched up her photos and lied about her weight.  When she landed from her flight from Dallas to Phoenix, it turned out she was 5’4 and 200 lbs.  She was great on the phone and a regular talent with, photo shop, but I was stuck with the cost of a plane ticket and a lousy afternoon of wasted awkward time.

Alice:   That beats all of my stories.  What skeletons do you have in your closet?

Matt:  I was busted 20 years ago for cocaine.  It was in another life.  I don’t use any more.  How about you?

Alice:  I don’t have any, except that I’m new in town.  Tell me about Sedona, I just moved here.

Matt:   Lets go for a short hike and I’ll show you around.  First let’s eat breakfast.  I’m starved.  It’s my treat.

They finish their meal together, satisfied and smiling.  Matt gets up first and in a gentlemanly fashion, helps her out of her chair.  They embrace romantically.

Matt:  I really like your energy.  You feel so right.

Alice:  You’re such a warm guy.  We’re going to have a great afternoon.

The Red Rocks are lit up with the beautiful afternoon. There’s a blue sky. Matt and Alice are walking romantically hand in hand, their hands waving back and forth like a jump rope.

Matt:   Did you feel the vortex back there?

Alice:   I feel the hairs on the back of my neck tingling.  My fingers felt warm from it.  I feel really relaxed.  I could really go for a cup of that Chinese tea you said you had.

Matt:  Yeah.  I’ve got some really nice slow Stanley Turrentine jazz ballads I can put on.  They’re really soothing.

Alice:  (Thanks Matt excitedly) That sounds great!

Fast motion view of a beautiful Sedona sunrise in front of Matt’s house.

Matt and Alice meet in front of the coffee shop.  They kiss passionately and romantically.  They’re sitting in the coffee shop at a private corner table, gazing into each other’s eyes.

Alice:  I love you.  I’m so glad we’re living together.

Matt:   I can’t believe it happened so fast.  Now we’re engaged!

Alice:   Just 2 months ago to this day, we had that first cup of coffee together.  You were so sweet that day.

Matt:  Let’s go back home and take the day off.

 

Alice:   Just what I was thinking.  I’m gonna rock your world!

Alice and Matt are shopping for wedding rings. They enter a jewelry store. Alice tries different ones on but none are good enough.  They leave hand in hand, arms swinging like a jump rope)

Fast motion view of a beautiful Sedona sunset in front of Matt’s house.

Matt is sitting on the couch in a state of extreme agitation.  Alice comes out and lounges on the top of the loveseat, seductively Matt avoids her gaze.

Alice:  (seductively) Hey, sweetie, what would you like to talk about?

Matt:  (quietly) I’ve had it.  Pack your bags and stuff & leave.  I can’t believe you broke our engagement of without telling me.  You’ve spent the last month mooching off me lounging in bed and reading in a dark bedroom.  First I was worried about you.  Now I realize who you really are.  I’m finished.  This is over.

Alice:  (seductively taking off her shirt revealing a lacy bra) I’ll make it all better.

Matt: I’m not interested.  Can you sleep anywhere else tonight?  Please? I really don’t want you staying under the same roof as me.

Alice:  (schizing out angrily) You ungrateful son of a bitch!  I’m going to get you for this!  When I’m through with you you’re going to regret you ever left me.  I’m going to ruin you. Destroy you.  You’re going to jail, buddy!  (She stomps out of the house) 

Matt’s head is in he hands.

Matt and his 15 yr old son are preparing a salad in the kitchen.  The happy chatter and boisterousness of father and son are evident in their intentions.

Eric:   Dad, I’m sure glad you lost that babe you were living with.  What a psycho!  She just locked herself in your room and then your home office all day.  Then, when she came out if you weren’t around, she was either too sweet or just plain nasty.

Matt:   She was locked in my office?  What was she doing in there?

Eric:   I’m clueless.  She blew up at me one day because I wouldn’t wear a shirt she bought me.  It was fugly.  What’s up with her?  Is she out of our life?

Doorbell rings.  Eric opens the door and a policeman enters in uniform.

Cop:  Are you Matt Wynsum?

Eric:  No, I’m his son Eric.  Dad!  Some cop’s looking for you.

Cop:  Matt Wynsum?

Matt:  Yes?

Cop:  You’re under arrest for aggravated rape of Alice Vacula.  You have a right to remain silent.  You have…..

Matt:  (interrupting) Are you nuts?  I didn’t do anything!

Eric:  (agitated) Dad! I’ll help get you out of this!

Cop:  This is just a formality.  Son, I’ll take you to your Mom’s.

Matt:  I’ll come get you after I deal with this.  I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Cop:  (He handcuffs Matt) Let’s get moving.

The courtroom is large and empty except for Matt, his lawyer Victor, the county attorney Mindy, the Judge, and Alice.

Mindy:  So you admit that you raped Alice Vacula?

Matt:  No.  I had relations with her.  We were engaged. We lived together.

Mindy:  Oh, you mean you had sex with her whether she wanted to or not.

Matt:  No.  We both enjoyed it.  We were lovers.  She was going to marry me.

Mindy:  So even though you lived together, you forced her to have sex every night.

Victor:  Objection. This is the same question my client answered.

Judge Harness:  Sustained.

Mindy:  No further questions.

Victor:  Matt, would you state for the record the sequence of events, please.

Matt:  She said she’d ruin me… All because I wanted her to move out.

Victor:  Matt, I can see you’re overwrought.  No further questions.

Judge Harness:  (to Mindy) Proceed with your next witness.

Mindy:  The prosecution rests its case.

Judge Harness:  Mr. Lee, your first witness please.

Victor:  I call Alice Vacula to the stand.

Alice is sworn in.

Victor:  I remind you Miss Vacula that you are under oath. Did Matt Wynsum rape you on a daily basis? Did he have intimate relations with you against your will?

Alice:  Well….

Victor:  Yesssss….

Alice:  Uhhh… (She is getting very squirrelly)

Victor:  Please answer the question.

Mindy:  Objection.  He is mistreating the witness.

Judge Harness:  Answer the question Ms. Vacula.

Alice:  (bursts into tears) He raped me.  Every day.  Spiritually he raped me.

Victor:  Did he ever physically rape you?

Alice:  Well…. No…. not really.

Victor:  What do you mean not really?  Did he physically rape you ever or didn’t he?

Alice:  Well……. No.

Victor:  Motion to dismiss charges.

Judge Harness:  Granted (slams down gavel).

Victor and Matt are in Victor’s pleasantly appointed law office.

Matt:  Thanks, Vic you did a great job. I’m almost afraid to say it, but what’s next?

Victor:  She claims you repeatedly raped her at your place of business and is trying to have your business license revoked at the city office.  She claims you molested your son and an investigation is ongoing with the State.

Matt:  That’s pretty lousy.

Victor:  She’s continuing to press her rape claim with a request to reinstate charges with the State instead of the County.  She is running an ad in the classifieds in town seeking people you have sexually abused. 

Matt: I didn’t do any of this!

Victor: She has contacted all your clients in the past year and sent them your legal records from when you were busted 20 years ago.

Matt: I’ve been clean for 20 years.  I’m the president of the local anti-drug group.   

Victor:  It is damage we can control. We can easily get a slander and libel suit to stick from the over 200 pages of transcripts from the private investigator.  Ms. Vacula spoke on tape about how she copied your files and solicited rape complaints when the investigator went to her for a psychic reading.  This should be good for a million dollar judgment against her.

Matt:  I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck, then backed up over and run over again.

Victor:  What I discussed are the least of your worries.  She contacted the Columbian drug lord you turned in 20 yrs. ago to get off on the cocaine rap you had.   You shouldn’t have told her about that.  Now he’s sending a hit man.

Matt:  (head in his hands) Is there anything you forgot, Vic?

Victor:  The police will have sharpshooters to kill him if he attempts to murder you.  You’ll wear a Kevlar suit and mask so you’ll be safe when you open the door, which will be reinforced from the inside.  Soon the nightmare will be over.

The full moon is rising at Matt’s house.  Alice is hiding behind a bush near the door. Behind bushes across the street is a Police sharpshooter. A car pulls up and a man slinkily exits with a machine gun. He rings the doorbell and runs back behind a bush further from the door than Alice’s bush. The door opens revealing a masked man in a Kevlar suit and mask.  He opens fire.  The masked man crumples to the ground.  The hit man crumples to the ground from a shot fired by the police sharpshooter. His automatic weapon continues to fire.  Alice is peppered with automatic weapons fire and is mortally wounded by the stray fire. A shaky Matt gets up, obviously in pain.  He removes his mask and approaches Alice.  She looks up at him, about to die.

Alice:  I love you, Matt (She dies).

Matt walks downcast into the house and closes the door.

Fin