Current Poetry
BerrySearch 2
8/19/01
Searching for berries as I walk
Red berries
Their tartness lingering
On my tongue
All pucker and edge…
no sweetness
unwarmed by the sun.
I shake my head
in dismay
All the others are black and dried
Its all about how hungry
In its time
The right time
I’ll be back to taste
the moist
warmsweet explosion inside of me
patience
persistence
timing
as delicate and exquisite
as the flavor.
Flame Heart
8/19/01
I gaze into the center
of the splendor
inside the fire is
a wood ribcage
the heart of flame
pulsing
rhythmically
to the drumbeat
warming me
moving me.
I cry out
Sing out
Dance
Connect with the one
Jealous Dysfunctional Excrement
4/02
I know she loves me
in her own peculiar way
I know I love her
In my own dysfunctional way
I can rescue her
take care of her every need
and receive nothing back.
I recognize it
Did it enough times
with enough partners
to see ahead on the path
I ended it
or did I?
I still tinker with
what’s there
like a dog thinking
about eating its own crap
After a few bites I realize what it is
I saw her in a new dysfunctional relationship.
Why am I jealous?
Violet Eyes, Red Flames
6/4/02
I see your alabaster visage
Your dancing violet eyes engage me from their deepest cave
I’m drawn to you, a helpless moth caught
Between your flaming red hair and your flamepainted Doc Martens
Its so easy to talk to you
Dance with you
The joylight dancing between us
Observes our deep pain
The beginnings of the mating dance
bump and grind
in fits and starts
You’re they’re but you can’t really be there
Exactly why I picked you
It was your deep pain
physical
emotional
your wounded psyche and body so
innocent yet careworn
I convince us I can heal you
on all levels
that’s why I’m drawn to you
My emotional entanglement
is
the barrier to helping you
I wear my feelings on my sleeve
Blurting out
my love
exhulting in the unilateral release.
You’re already far away
where you were when it started
only legitimizing your feelings with physical distance
across the continent with someone else.
My wound heals swiftly
Leaving a sweet spot in my core
Opening a gaping window
wide open
for my beloved to be
Realization not to pick a life partner to with a task to heal
Instead
A joyous healing dance
mutual exchange
lighthearted
sweet
without permanent debilitation
My desparate need to heal you
fulfilled
by not looking for fulfillment
I wish you peace
with your permanent pain
happiness wherever the journey takes you
Aspen
6/4/02
They bow
as one
in the warm breeze
moving
with the flow
joyously
peacefully
growing slowly
their sap rising silently
inexorably,
as the sun warms their skin
Bald Spot
6/4/02
My head is eroding
Maybe its all that I have
locked up in there
pushing out the hair
There it is
freaking me out.
I bravely use two mirrors
The mirror of my reflection
Tells its sordid tale
bare
vulnerable
monklike
the paunch and hair
All I need is a brown robe
I’ve been feeling ascetic
A decade of adventure
and subsequent withdrawal
the pit of depression
deep in my guts
tightens
sick feeling of mortality
running
mordant decay
alive
on my scalp
like a mold
eating
into my skull
I grieve for my hair…lost
I grieve for my youth…lost
In a wild impulse I decide to shave it all off
The great equalizer.
I laugh at my self-preoccupation
I put the mirror down
I make silly faces and then look me in the I
I say I Love You to myself.
Davenning from Right Field
October 9, 2000
As a kid I always waited expectantly
I was never a captain
So I never was in on the choose up
I was the last picked
I was in the worst position
right field
I’d daydream way out there
davenning until my reverie was broken
by the end of an inning
I guess I must be an individualist
spiritual athlete
I still wait expectantly
for years
waiting for the aliyah
the reading
a special prayer
out there in right field
my spiritual customs unblended
with everyone else’s
they just don’t get it
can’t get it
won’t get it
don’t need to get it
I don’t need them to get it
cause I get it
It’s nice out here in spiritual right field
sharing with a few
within
B’Sameem (Fragrant Herbs)
August 2002
Six years have ended
Shabbat
spicy hot,
soft, gentle, sweet.
I swim in your golden watery fiery orbs
Awash and excited
You sit in the V of my legs
Our bodies chastely welded together
Singing as one
I rest my chin on your head gently
Inhaling your scent
Intoxicated with your essence
awash in love, lust, deep spiritual connection
every inner wheel in synchrony
our time is here
in the present
we are
each other’s holy herbs
we breathe deep of each other
Ferlinghetti Bus Ride
August 2002
My plane touched down five minutes ago
I’m secure in a tram
after a walk through the soup air
penetrating to my soul
reminding me I’m alive
I look at the passengers around me
various versions
of Lawrence Ferlinghetti
hunched against the wind
even inside
grey white trimmed beat bearded
balding under cabbie caps
tmentally breaking out in poetry
simultaneously slamming inside
like Hassids davenning together
shukelling and bobbing
to the rhythm of the bus windshield wipers
beat poets out to pasture
Golden Bird
September 2002
Rustle in the brush
I see your tiny golden
Squirmy little body
Almost soundless
peaceful inner quiet
full of motion emotion
dancing around me
from branch to branch
hiding behind the leaves
playing peekaboo
closer
then far away
You’ll be in my arms
After she’s in my arms
You flit away for now
Only to return
Again
To me
Us
Together again
Asleep at the Beach
January 22, 2003
Quiet green shooshing
I feel my inner quiet rise
to your
repeated rhythm caress
your white fuzzy beard tickles my toes
as your cold touch
shocks me
out of reverie
Reflections
January 22, 2003
Reflections on the water’s edge
horizon glittering
back to me
sparkling
a jewel momentarily calm
gentle swoosh of rhythmic
patois patter
of waves soothing rocking
cradling me
clarity in blue and white
My ocean aching
to storm beneath
yet peaceful now
the node between waves
thankful
beleagured rest
well learned
well earned
I pause
Zohara
September 2003
I remember that first moment
Your head emerged
after a storm
looking around the room
entering
peacefully
silently
centered
in harmony
surrounded by dissonance
your crystal clear voice
rang through
sweetly singing
standing free
through the surrounding storm
as its winds whir and whip
you stand fast
singing
swaying
with the wind willingly
willowy, warm
in new strength radiating from your core
illuminating all
who are in your aura.
January 3, 2004
Silky smooth
caresses on the back of my legs
enticing me
to come home
greenish brown
salty smell soothes sands suck
me down
bring me out of my brain
all too important
world of worry
mundaneness
dissipating
sucked into watery brown oblivion
as I sway gently
the in and out breath of you
softly praying
connecting to your ageless Shechinah strength
Coffee House
April 2004
I open the door
warmth surrounds me
plush couch engulfs me
ambient plastic background conversation
bitter smell suffusing the air
the sun streaks in
broad brushstrokes
cream in the bitter
song of blackness in my soul
Small Town Crap
April 2004
They smile their happy smiles
hug me with almost hugs
pray in prayer circles
with all the right words
then I leave
the gossip begins
manufactured stories passed around
with lust and abandon
if only they loved
with the same abandon
Clams at the Beach
July 20, 2004
Every step
brings a reaction
gaping little holes open
as they dig deeper
Wave Wash
July 20, 2004
The water cries again
Waaaaugh
as the waves wash in
wash my tears out to sea
Wading in the Ocean
July 20, 2004
Tingling tendrils tickle
repetetively
waking water wiggling toes
Jones Beach Bums
July 20, 2004
Coconut oil blaring as loud as the radios
perfect and imperfect bodies alike
baring their skin but not their souls
While we are huddled together
with guitars and dope and jeans
blaring our indifference to their schemes
singing Rock and Roll to their irritation
restlessly absorbed in our indignation
thinking ourselves to be the Woodstock Nation
awash in a cloud of marajuana smoke
bumming spare change as if we were dead broke
We had something to say
as we look back
with our pot bellies and our somewhat broken family
hoping somewhere in that cloud of confusion
we planted some good seeds
Black Goop
July 20, 2004
It quivers inside my core
the black goop
All the hate and judgement heaped upon me
the black goop
It bubbles behind a castle wall
the black goop
surrounded anmd protected
me from it, it from me
the black goop
How I long to breach the fortress walls
armed with a fire hose full of soapy water
washing it clean
planting lush greenery and fragrant flowers and fruit trees
Pupick (Belly Button) Pants
July 20, 2004
He run-walks waddling at top speed
stopping to check his time
short pants up to his pupick
Stone Mother
August 18, 2004
She lay on her back
eternally meditating on the sky
searching
connected to the Sun
baking her swollen gravid belly
green gracing her sides, legs, and breasts
her rocky forehead and neck bone
warm waters peacefully surround her
lapping gently
sharp yet soft
to the touch
Her swollen belly is full
the dark secret within untouched
growing slowly in caverns unseen
nurtured inside
by clear dark pools
the unknown awaits
Crone
August 18, 2004
She trudges
looking at the ground
connected to the Earth
laden with cheap trinkets to sell
sad faced
craving to leave
forced to stay
clothed in white
her long still coal black tresses
bunched under her battered white hat
She longs to escape
dance around her inner fire
but it is banked
as she fights the inner heat rising
trapped by outer needs.
Grandpa
August 18, 2004
Gaptoothed grin greeting me
as brightly colored as
the bowls he offers
swimming in the joy of humanity
as the waves echo
his sweetness
washing endlessly behind him
Ocean Night
August 18, 2004
Unknown
darkmoist
expansive
you invite me closer
your catlike rhythmic beckoning
your scallopy paws
white mittens on your long black feet
warmly caress my toes
I gaze at your black satiny sheen
hypnotized
it sets a beat within
synchronously
as I sway to your caress
sinking into the soft sandy carpet beneath
the crescent Moon and Venus
singing out a chord
as I watch and listen
in reverie and repose
Eaglesnake
October 18, 2005
Your deep blue eyes swallowed me in one dense thorough gulp
I stand naked
before you
before myself
unclothed of rationality
unclothed of protection
It was all so easy
safe
distant
the pain
walled off
pushed away
the walls of stone thick and impenetrable
the black goop surrounding it
a dark moat
the reception of love
a bleak casualty
now no longer an option
So now the walls are down
abject sweet surrender
The tears are beginning to rise
grieving the impending loss of you
The rationalizations rise
to squoosh down
the upwelling
as I attempt to take control
take action
in a pre-emptive strike
ending it all
before the pain of vulnerability
and the risk of loss
rains from a cloud of pain
I wish the sunshine of your love
were there to dissipate it
It peeks outside winking at me
giving me hope
reminding me of your honeymoon sweetness
your arms coiled around me
your legs wrapped around me
your jagged breath in my ear
our hearts interleaved
our souls intertwined
mutual surrender
together.
Eaglesnake Slight Return?
October 25, 2005
Mixed messages abound
I was let down
almost without a sound
One minute you’re clutching me
warmly
wordlessly
nestling your neck in mine
our bodies one
hours later
without provocation
you push me away further then ever
your fearspace crackling with electricity
charged by your supportive innuendo pals
you dissect me with a gentle meat fork
my kishkes tenderized by vulnerability
you planned this out in reptilian intensity
my openness a novelty
accepting my gifts graciously and warmly
hypnotizing me
with your sinuous snake dance
readying yourself to swallow me whole
sadly
Sea Gardener
February 22, 2006
Weathered face
tan and rimned with wind
gruffly pacing
appearing busy
he attends to his minions
seekers of stories and fish
poles and people
he visits each
a sea gardener
purveying fish and fish tales
an aura of severity and urgency.
while the fish and fans swim carelessly around him
Rabbi Pelican
February 22, 2006
He’s standing on his own two feet
eyeing me sternly
I stand two feet away
accepting his gaze
We take each others’ measure
His gaze towers over me
in stately grace
in harmony
with nature
himself
His long beak points downward
its baggy bottom
like a long Hassidic beard
he nods in silent benediction
gazing beyond me
into the distance.